An Easter Convened.
Christ has risen on what was for me, a rather hellish day. When reality kicks and stirs through difficult seasons, heightened expectations can quickly crash back into a dull, and disappointing stalemate. An incessant hum that rides just above consciousness, similar to the sound of the dishwasher from a room adjacent.
Surely the miracle of the resurrection should have more of an impact on me than this I thought, and imagine Christ thinks as well. Jesus shed blood, and gave his life to the cross so that I may mope from my home on Kenwood Ave. Not sexy.
This pronounced rise and fall of anticipation back into the throes of isolation brings an acute awareness to the reality that ‘this is it.’ Being on the other side of Easter this year is like tightening the belt of acceptance another notch and feeling the squeeze that comes along with it. All of the self proclaimed flexibility I had come to shoulder-shimmy with pride quickly dissipates when confronted by a spirit of loneliness, and lingering uncertainty. Deep disbelief and sorrow at the utter lack of compassion that is showed by those with the power to do otherwise in this country.
Yet the story of Easter and resurrection must live on. If not in my day to day actions, at least in my head as a story worth telling and proclaiming. I am reminded that my life is just a speck on a grand, harrowing, unimaginably eloquent portrait of creation, where humans are not at the center so much as the central antagonist. I feel drawn to fall in line with the life cycles of the earth, much as the rings of a tree model the deep contours of their own collective awakening. This is where my resurrection journey has taken me. And while I don’t have clear words or thoughts to articulate this newfound reverence just yet, I trust and pray they will come as I continue to rest in my humble place here on Earth. Today I am thankful for the opportunity to further integrate myself with all God creates. To awaken my spirit to the air and the birds and the sun and the trees and the rain. Amen